The Blogtember Challenge Day 5: I'm Passionate About...

Hello honeys
So we're on to day 5 of the blogtember challenge organized by the lovely Bailey Jean at Brave Love.
Todays writing prompt is "Sept 5th: "I am passionate about ______________. "

Shall I be honest honeys? I approached todays prompt not knowing what to write. Isn't to be passionate about something to have something to live and breathe for? to care about it so much that you rarely think about anything else?

Some people are very passionate about green issues, like global warming. Well we do recycle like crazy and always take our bags with us when shopping to avoid having to use plastic bags.  We do all of the "green" stuff that's supposed to be good for the planet, like trying to save energy and using those ugly long life bulbs, but is it a passion? No, it's really not.

Some people are very passionate about their hobbies. I don't have that either. I am mostly housebound, unless I have a doctors or hospital appointment then I only leave the house two days a week to go to work. For the other 5 days a week I rarely see or speak to anyone except hubby & our furbaby Jade.  I watch movies & TV but if they ceased to exist tomorrow would it make my world end? Of course not.

I have always been passionate about reading. For as long as I can remember, books were my best friends. Even as a child I didn't go out much. I was never a climbing trees or playing sports kind of child. I read. A lot. I had my own library card from the age of nine and have happy memories of my then best friend Joan and I riding our bikes to the library every Saturday morning to return our books and choose more.

Reading a good book though is just yet another thing that illness has taken away from me. I used to read constantly, but for a long time now I haven't been able to concentrate without headaches, without being entirely drained to the point of being wiped out.  I'll reach the end of a page and be unable to recall parts of it.  Fellow spoonies will recognise this as something unpleasant that is often referred to as "fibro fog" which I wrote about trying to conquer here.

As I said in that post, I've discovered that I can sort of get around the inability to concentrate on the written word by listening to audio books but I miss reading!! I miss the glorious feeling of holding a book in my hands. I miss the feel of the pages, the excitement of turning the page to see what happens next.

So, I have audio books. It's just yet another compromise that my health has forced on me. I could yell about it but again fellow spoonies know (and anyone else who suffers from high blood pressure) that we have to avoid conflict or getting upset like the plague. It is exhausting, draining, debilitating. It can literally wipe me out to the point that I can't function.  Seriously, my energy is valuable because it is such a limited resource. Everything I do has to be planned to the nth degree in order to have a chance of success.

Of course I've always loved writing too. It's the reason you're reading this blog right now.  Stories, poems, doesn't matter. They create themselves. I sit at my keyboard and words appear. Maybe that could be my passion? Again though, is it something I couldn't live without?  I don't know, I've never tried. The world certainly wouldn't miss my nonsense but I think it might hurt me to have my "voice" taken away.  Would I give up everything in my life (such as it is) so I could write?  No.

The past twenty years or so, for lots of reasons, have been not so good. The thing about loss, pain, illness, upsets... all of the bad things that life enjoys throwing at us, is that it teaches us to value what is really important.  So, if pressed, and this prompt is kind of doing that :) If pressed, I would say my passions, the things I couldn't live without, are my sweet hubby, our furbaby Jade, our family and my tiny circle of friends. You know who you are dear ones <hugs> xx
Till next time honeys, sending heaps of hugs xx