Time To Talk Day 2024: On Furbaby Loss...

Hello Honeys, 

I'm sorry I've been missing.  I'm not coping honeys, not even a little bit.  Today is February 1st, it's Time To Talk Day.  This year's Time To Talk Day wants to encourage all of us to talk more, to reach out if we need to and to say what we feel and not to just say "fine" when asked how we are. 

As it happens, I'm not fine actually and I know I'm not alone.  It would be lovely if the world was always understanding, always empathic and always caring, but unfortunately, even with the best of intentions and the kindest of hearts, finding understanding over the loss of a furbaby can be difficult. 

In the last ten days or so I've heard of two others who have lost their beloved furbabies and it breaks my heart that others are going through the same pain.  At this time of year too, when we're beginning to escape winter, looking towards better days. 

The start of a new year is when we're able to look ahead to the sunnier days of spring, planning all of the fun things you'll do when the warmer days arrive.  Maybe planning holidays, home projects, time with family outside, barbeques in the garden.  It's when you take stock, when you want your family close and Jade was our family.

Jade really was the whole world to us, she was everything and there are no words for how painful it is to not have her here with us. This is the first time in decades, over thirty years, that we haven't had furbaby paws blessing our home and the house feels so incredibly empty.

The Promise...

Back when times were so much better, we did something I'm now bitterly regretting dear ones. We made a promise, we agreed, when we adopted our precious baby Jade that she would be our last ever furbaby.

At the time, of course, it seemed like such a sensible decision. Even back then, I was already battling rheumatoid arthritis and then later osteoarthritis in my spine, and with hubby's knees not being what they were, well, as I said, it seemed a sensible promise to make.

So yes, a promise was made back then, in 2010, with our beautiful baby still a puppy and and with her filling our whole world with smiles, but now our home is unbearably empty, unbearably quiet, unbearably still, and that decision just doesn't seem so sensible any more.

Memories Everywhere...

Our baby is everywhere in our home, honeys. We were upstairs recently, arranging the guest room for my much loved brother in law's recent visit and while making up his bed for him we found one of Jade's tennis balls by the foot of the bed, tucked away, just underneath. I wasn't expecting it of course and it hit me harder than any physical impact could honeys.

Her jackets are still hanging in the hall, on their own tiny "dog tail" hooks, all waiting for her to go walkies with her Dad. Her seagrass baskets, stacked neatly in their little tower in the hall, still have her towelling dressing gowns and bath towels waiting for her, along with her brushes and other little accessories. She's everywhere honeys, everywhere except with her Mummy and Daddy, where she belongs.

When The Obvious Solution Still Feels Wrong...

Over the years, so many times, when I've heard that a friend, a co-worker, a neighbour has lost their furbaby, I've always been so quick to recommend they go immediately to their local shelter. So many babies all desperately in need of love and the safety of a home, and a sofa, of their own.

Our baby Jade rescued me from the worst depression following the loss of both of our furbabies in a single week. One to cancer and her little brother to the (unintentional) negligence of a veterinary nurse who dropped him during a scan. This lead to a bleed on the brain, left untreated of course because she hadn't told anyone, certainly not us. By the time we later rushed him to the small animal hospital, try as they did, they couldn't save our baby. The pain of the loss we felt that week was blinding. Both our babies gone.

Then, as if the universe was trying to help, a photo of our baby Jade appeared on Facebook. It was posted by a local rescue and I wasn't even on their page, it just appeared in my home/feed page or whatever it's called. I was talking to a dear friend on direct message who was worried about me (thank you my wee angel, you know who you are x) and there she was. I knew the minute I saw her face and I yelled for Hubby. Hubby looked at Jade's photo and said "let's give them a phone..." What followed was a little over thirteen years of happiness, cuddles and love. Did I still hurt for my lost furbabies? Of course I did, but Jade truly saved me from the depression that was beginning to overwhelm me.

Why The Hesitation?

Do I desperately want to run there, now, immediately and find a baby who needs love? Of course I do!

Something happened though, during lockdown and in the years following it, dear ones. Being immuno-suppressed, I was home, just Jade and I, for almost four years. This has had the effect of not only leaving me battling anxiety attacks whenever I find myself any distance away from our home, but it has also forced me to become far more aware of my own mortality, in a very real way too.

Do I worry about dying every day? No honeys, I don't, but what it has done is changed how I look at the future. There was a very famous slogan here in the UK years ago, used by The Dog's Trust that said "a dog is for life, not just for Christmas." It's a wonderful slogan, reminding potential pet parents of the responsibility they're undertaking when they adopt.

In years gone by, we'd never have doubted our ability to easily devote fifteen or eighteen years to the love and welfare of a little furbaby. The pandemic though has made me question what would happen if Hubby or I got ill, do we even have fifteen years now? What would happen, God forbid, to a furbaby if anything happened to either of us? In short, dear ones, it's made me doubt the certainty of the future.

So, here we are. Missing our furbaby so much that it's become a physical pain in my heart, and the one thing I've spent years advising others to do, the one thing that truly does help a pain-filled heart, I'm too scared to do, and that's without even addressing that promise we made all those years ago...

What's Next...

I know that only time will help, and painful as it is right now, that the memories of our baby will be a huge part of healing too. I've been going through photos and I genuinely had no idea how many we had.💖 So, so many precious photos of our baby and in all of them, all of them, she looks so happy. I know that will be a comfort too, someday. That our baby was loved and that she was happy.

I've battled depression for so many years honeys, and I know that being isolated, alone most of the time, which I am now, isn't helpful. It's already difficult to go outside, thanks to having stayed home for so long, although I spent all of that time with our baby Jade and for that I'll always be grateful.

I always try, when I can, to be positive and when considering adopting again, I can only see positives. Having a furbaby with me when Hubby is at work, really would make the house less lonely. It's a very long day waiting for Hubby to get back home at night and I live in a street where all of my neighbours are out at work too so it's really quiet here all day long.

Having a furbaby might give me a reason to go outside again. Even if it's just to join Hubby for furbaby walks in the evenings. Could we give a good home to a furbaby? Yes, I know we could honeys. Should we not adopt in case something happens to either of us in the future? If we all lived that way, no one would ever go outside or do anything. I am trying to see this rationally, but still, I have doubts. This is the legacy that the pandemic has left me with.

Listening To Heal....

A wonderful "Ted Talk" appeared in the "new for you" panel, on Youtube honeys. I've no idea why it was suggested for me, can Google read minds? I only know that I'm so grateful it was. I cried while watching some of it but they were good tears, healing tears, and after watching, I felt (just a little bit) lighter.

It's for that reason that I thought I'd share it dear ones. As I said, I've heard of two others recently who have lost their beloved furbabies and I thought if I share this video, even if it helps one more person in the way it helped me, well that would be wonderful.

So, here it is then, the Ted Talk by Sarah Hoggan DVM, she is an emergency vet and a wonderful, caring soul and, if like us, you have lost your furbaby, or know someone who has, please do share her video.  I'll add the direct link below in case you'd like to forward it to anyone.💖  

Thank you for keeping me company honeys, it means more than I can tell say.💖 Sending you mountains of hugs always, and if you're lucky enough to have furbabies, sending so many hugs for them too.🥰💖  Stay warm and safe dear ones, till next time x

Links:

Pet loss grief; the pain explained - Sarah Hoggan DVM 

My playlist on furbaby loss and healing at Youtube

A happier playlist full of adorable furbaby smiles💖

See Me Scotland: Time To Talk Day 2024

Rosie's Adventure: My First Trip Outside In Almost 4 Years...

Hi Honeys, 

How are you today? All well I hope?  This morning I was in the kitchen, watching two adorable collared doves at the feeders on our little apple tree when it dawned on me how many leaves there are all over the garden.  It was pretty windy, and rainy, during last night so, it's officially autumn then I suppose.🍂

Poor Hubby.  Every year he spends hours in our back garden, cleaning up all of the leaves only to go back inside and in no time at all, you'd swear the trees wait until he closes the back door and give themselves a good shake, because it's just as "leafy" all over again.🍂😊 

I'm so sorry I've been missing for so long.  Things have been happening.  Not world ending things, but they've certainly made life challenging.  Yes.  Challenging is a good word for it.  

I have no idea how long this post will be, but I get the feeling that this is probably a post to get comfy for honeys.  It might be a good idea to go grab a cuppa (and maybe a cookie or two... no, bring the pack🍪😊) and I'll meet you here after the break?  See you in a few minutes...

Music! Music! Music 😍💕🎧🎼🎵🎶😊

Disclaimer:  I haven't been paid to promote any artists or music, just sharing some happy smiles x 

Hi Honeys, 

 How are you today?  We're definitely starting to feel the change in the temperature here.  I'm writing this wearing my favourite cardigan.  It's a gorgeous, snuggly, warmer-than-anything, cream coloured Arran knit one.  It was knitted for me by a very dear friend, now sadly passed and every time I wear it, I'm wrapped up in so many memories of her.

Today is day eight of Blogtober dear ones and I thought I'd write one of my favourite posts of Blogtober - it's the shuffle post!!😍💕😊 

Yes, yes, I know! Everybody streams these days.  Well, this wee Rosie doesn't <stomps wee foot> This wee Rosie (and Hubby) still have (far too much) vinyl, cassette tapes, CDs and yes, MP3 players😄 We do adore our music😀🎧🎼🎵🎶😍

I've owned this faithful, favourite little MP3 player for so many years now, no idea how long exactly but it's a good few years.  I think it's around 4GB (or might be 8GB?) in memory and I've continually kept loading it with my favourites but it's still nowhere near full.  My taste in music is everywhere honeys so there's everything from classical to jazz to country to 80s pop to rock.  I like what I like😍 

Before we start honeys, you might want to fetch a cuppa (and maybe a cookie or two?) I'll meet you back here, after the page break (just click the link) back in a mo...

6 New Products From Ikea I Love And A New Use For An Old Favourite...

Disclaimer:  I haven't been paid to recommend any products or shops, just wanted to share my latest smiles from my favourite place😊  

Hi Honeys, 

How are you today?   It's been such a beautiful sunny day here, just a tiny bit cooler, at 16C, than it has been but it felt perfect.  Far better than the mini heatwaves we've been having recently, although I know I'll miss them (a lot) when winter arrives.  It'll be here in no time, unfortunately and my heart sinks at the thought of it.   Never mind, dear ones, only 201 days till spring 😄🌻🌹

For todays post then, I thought I'd share some of our latest Ikea finds, some of their newer products and how we're using them.

Six products and me waffling about them....  Might be wise to go grab a cuppa (and maybe a couple of cookies🍪😊) and I'll meet you back here after the page break?  See you in a bit...

A Tiny, Simple Hack To Waste Less, Save Money And Make Having Your Lemon Water Each Day So Easy!🍋🍋🍋

Disclaimer:  I haven't been paid to recommend any products, and this is not meant to be health advice!  If you have any health questions or concerns, please talk to your doctor or heath care professional honeys, hugs x

Hi Honeys
How are you today?  I hope your week is off to a fabulous start🤗 

We're been experiencing another heat wave here and have been melting away all week.  According to the little digital wotnot upstairs in our bedroom last night, it was 28.5C.  I know that might not seem overly warm to some of you lucky people who live in sunnier climes, but here in the west of Scotland those kinds of temperatures can melt furniture! Well, they can certainly melt wee Rosies😀 

I had the electric fan running all last night which, along with her chill mat, seemed to help our furbaby Jade.  It's so, so important to make sure our furbabies are safe in warmer temperatures honeys. They can't tell us when they're in distress.  You can find some useful tips to help keep furbabies cool here (there are some useful tips for us humans too💖) 

What didn't help our baby were the thunder storms that raged, really raged, last night until after 2am this morning.  The lightning too.  I had to switch off the electric fan (for a very short time) and close the curtains during the worst of it because the lightning got close I think?  It literally lit up our bedroom, twice! I was watching tv but the lights were all off (Hubby was sleeping since he had work early this morning. The rain was battering against our bedroom window too.  Such a scary storm.  Jade and I hugged each other and I know she was as relieved as I was when it was over.  

Back to todays post...

Do you drink lemon water honeys?  It's just water with a little lemon juice added (although you can add other things such as a little honey, which I do if I feel a cough or a "tickly" throat starting.  

My day usually starts with getting my first load of laundry going and then I boil the kettle to make my lemon water.  Until very recently, that meant simply adding boiling water to a cup (although I recently changed over to a tiny teapot - an upgrade to my little morning treat😊) and then dropping in freshly sliced lemon.

Around a year or so ago, I bought my tiny glass teapot from Ikea and started using one of the beautiful mugs a dear friend gave me. I so love those mugs. (Thank you Miriam, love you honey x)  As it turned out, my tiny glass teapot holds exactly the right amount for two cups of my lemon water🍋 Yum!

So, Rosie, why do you drink lemon water then? 

I started drinking my lemon water each morning as another step in my self care project.  For so many years now, I kept telling myself that I need to take better care of myself, and I really have tried.  My main issue though is that I'm just the world's worst at seeing anything even remotely concerning myself as a priority.  I have a set-in-stone mental block that will immediately tell me how selfish I'm being.  

Thing is honeys, time is passing (too fast, it feels like) and I have an invisible trailer I'm dragging behind me, chock full of chronic illnesses. I have stubbornly high blood pressure, my lungs have been trying to kill me since I took my first breath and, not content with having rheumatoid arthritis, I also have to be very greedy and have osteo arthritis in my spine too.  Added to this, the fact that I'm still living like a complete hermit with prize winning hermit skills. Seriously, the only time I leave the house is to go to medical appointments and its gone on for so long now that it just can't be healthy.

As I said, I am the world's worst at looking after myself and don't ask me why, but my lemon water is one of the few self care habits I've stuck with.  

I can't promise you miracles just because you start your day with a little lemon water but I've read so many good things online about it, like this article at Holland & Barratt site, and that's why I started.  At the very least, it means I'm drinking a little more water and I know I don't drink nearly enough.

OK Rosie, what's this new hack you're all excited about then?

It's true!  I am excited😊 I know. Excited about lemon and water.  I should get out more, as the old saying goes.  I don't go outside honeys, keep up.  This, and seeing a butterfly at the window a few days ago, are Christmas to me! 😊 

This hack has made my life so much easier, helped me to keep doing something, just for myself, that's healthy and is even saving us money too! (Get on with it Rosie!) Oops. Sorry honeys, told you I was excited😄

Well, while waiting for the machine to finish a load of laundry (exciting I know lol) I was watching some of my favourite home organisation channels on Youtube.  This is where I had my "wow" moment 😲and as with everything else in life honeys, all it needed was a wee bit of preparation...

Saving money and avoiding waste...

My usual routine with my lemons is to keep them in the fridge, so they are always chilled.  This also seems to, in my experience anyway, make them last longer.  I don't know about you honeys, but any produce, not just lemons, we buy now seems to last only days, and in some cases it's already sprouting or going soft when you get it home. 

I worked in retail for about fifteen years and I'm seeing the kind of quality in our weekly shop that never would have made it to the shopfloor years ago.  I used to be able to buy my lemons, and other produce, and they'd last me all week, now unfortunately I'm having to bin one or two of them unused because they simply "go off."  Even in the fridge!  

The answer is, of course, to be more aware when grocery shopping.  Look (very) closely at all of your produce before adding them to your shopping trolley or cart.  It makes no sense, the way things are financially for everyone right now, to waste money buying items that will go in the bin before they can be eaten.  

If I juice all of my lemons at their best, that is to say when they're brought home with the shopping, and immediately freeze them they'll then last me weeks or even a full month because I can buy as many as I would need for that time.  No more waste and money saved. 

Prepare, prepare, prepare...

So honeys, when you get home with your shopping, make a cuppa and get your breath back and then it's time to get to work.  This means meal prepping.... of a fashion.  All of your lovely produce will last so much longer if you take that extra bit of care to wash and prep it. 

Isn't it worth an hour or so and a tiny bit of work to be able to plan your dinners for the week and then to have all of your ingredients all prepped, in the fridge and ready to go?  

This absolutely applies to all of our produce, but for the purpose of todays post, back to those lemons and our daily lemon water.🍋    

Having found the freshest, yummiest lemons in the grocery store.  First thing is to wash them, I'd do that even if I wasn't going to prep them.  Even if I was just going to put them into our fridge I'd wash them first. Yes, I'm a germaphobe honeys😊  All of our produce though, when it gets home from the shops, is washed in warm, not hot, water with a little white vinegar, then rinsed again in fresh cold water.  

Ordinarily, what I (used to) do is to place those lovely clean lemons (I really don't like germs) into their designated space in the fridge and take one out as and when needed.  I did experiment with slicing them and then freezing the slices but it ended up being a pain, having to freeze them all lying flat before I could then pop them all, once frozen, into a ziplock bag.  

Did it a few times but with arthritic hands and wrists... nope. I'm not always having a "good" day.  Fellow "spoonies" will understand what I mean, sending you gentlest hugs dear ones🤗and wishes for the best day, full of spoons💖

Then, thanks to a lovely lady on Youtube, I learned about this....

The photo above shows all of the juice, squeezed from three packs of four lemons, twelve in total. This was all of the lemons in our latest grocery shop, plus four lemons from the fridge.  They were all washed carefully, then juiced using our little electric juicer, poured into the above silicone mould and immediately frozen.  

They were fresher than I've seen from our weekly shop in quite a while, so I was very keen to get them juiced and frozen as soon as possible to preserve all of that lovely fresh and healthy goodness.🍋

Choosing your moulds...

The mould shown makes very large cubes, certainly much larger than usual ice cubes.  I originally bought this mould in order to make chocolate teaspoons one Christmas.  Have you seen those honeys?  Basically, each mould is filled with melted chocolate, I added tiny marshmallows to mine too😊and then a small spoon (I used tiny wooden ones) is stood up in the chocolate mould before the chocolate hardens again.  

The chocolate spoons, basically a tiny spoon encased in chocolate, is then wrapped and a pretty ribbon tied around the wrapper (I used baking parchment) for them to be gifted💖 To enjoy these chocolate treats, they are stirred into a cup of warm milk until the chocolate has melted and you have a yummy chocolate drink. They make lovely little gifts around any of the holidays or as tiny extras to be placed in gift baskets.   

Back to our lemon water then, although now I'd quite like a lovely mug of warm chocolate now. Oh well, maybe later lol😊

The reason I decided to use the large cubed mould was because, as I said earlier, I now always make my lemon water in my little teapot.  This teapot holds exactly two cups of my lemon water.  One cube is equal to a whole lemon. 

Of course if I was only making a cup or glass or lemon water I'd use a smaller mould.  In fact, when I first tried freezing lemon juice I actually used one of my favourite moulds and this does make smaller, more average sized cubes but they're in the shape of penguins.🐧  As you can see, there is quite a difference in size.. 

I've had this adorable ice cube mould for so many years and I think it will always be my favourite🐧🐧🐧🥰

Once frozen, I placed the lemon juice cubes into a ziplock bag and back into the freezer.  As you can see, the bag has some little penguins inside too😊  

I haven't had any problems at all with cubes sticking together in the freezer and I do love that all I have to do in the morning is to boil the kettle and add a (large) cube of lemon juice to my tiny teapot.💖  

Of course, as a bonus, and during the current heatwave I can allow my lemon water to cool and place it into the fridge for a lovely cooling, and healthy, drink🍋😊  

No more having to slice or squeeze lemons freshly each day.  Unless I want to, and add an extra slice or two as I did here.  

The only downside to using our little electric juicer is, as you can see in the image above, the lemon water seems cloudier and you can see bits of the inner flesh, or pith, of the lemon in it. The smaller, penguin shaped lemon cubes had far less of this skin because they were squeezed using a hand squeezer.  

It's fine though, I thought it actually added a little extra zinginess (is that even a word lol) and if it ever bothers me, for future lemon cubes, once juiced, I'll pour the lemon juice through a strainer to remove the excess pulp bits. 

This is truly life changing for me honeys, it really is.  I haven't lost the battle to arthritis yet but, well, let's just say the fight is getting harder.  Anything, even tiny lemon cubes, that helps make daily life even a wee bit easier, is a blessing and I'm so grateful to have found this wonderful little hack.💖

My inspiration...

My inspiration for this clever idea that's making my mornings so much easier is a lovely lady who has one of the best channels on Youtube.  Her name is Noemi and you can find her Youtube channel, called Scandish Home here and her Instagram page is here.  I can't say enough good things about this wonderful lady and the amazing content on her channel.  Please do visit her page honeys, she seems so friendly and her videos are so full of information and always make me smile.  There's DIY, recipes (gluten and dairy free) homemaking, home organisation and so, so much more to learn there💖     

Just for teaching me how to freeze all of my lemon juice so that painful bones don't stop me from having my morning lemon water, although she's taught me so much more, I owe this lovely lady so much.  I don't think she'll ever see this post but just in case she does, thank you so much Noemi, wishing you so many good things and sending you so many hugs🤗  

Over to you dear ones, do you make lemon water?  Have you found any tips or hacks you want to share?  If so, please share in the comments section below.  

I hope you're having the best day, so full of happiness that it makes your face ache from smiling so much🥰🤗💖💝 and just in case you forgot honeys, you matter, you're needed 🤗

Till next time, hugs always x

Embracing The New And Catching Up...

Hi Honeys, 

The past two years or so haven't been great have they, but we've finally arrived in my favourite season of the year and, given everything happening in the world, maybe its time to start to make plans instead of worrying about the future. I'm talking to myself most of all here honeys. No more moping about Rosie!   

I've spent most of the last year or so practising my super-hermit skills and hiding away from the world. It really does have to stop now though.  It's gotten unhealthy. Yes honeys, no matter how difficult it is to stop it, the hiding-away has to end.  

Time to find the old Rosie. The one who full-on-belly-laughs, the one who sees rainbows instead of clouds and just irritates all sense out of co-workers by wearing a huge smile all the time. The one who is just grateful for every single day and annoys all patience out of everybody around her by only seeing the best in every situation. 

Of course, a good part of my sun-is-always-shining persona has always been a mask, having battled depression for so many years.  Over time though, I found that just being around people seemed to naturally blend with the genuine gratitude I felt for all of the blessings in my life.  The result was that happy, always-smiling Rosie. Even on bad days.  For bad days I have my coping mechanisms, among them, visiting my beautiful beach.  The same beach that helped me through a CT scan.     

I'm sure smiley Rosie is still in here somewhere, waiting to be found again. It's been over a year honeys, it's past time to pull up my big girl pants, put on my most determined expression and go find her...

I have a feeling that this post, since it's a catch up on what's been happening, might well end up being a bit of a read 😄  Why not go grab a cuppa and maybe a cookie (or two 😊) and meet me back here after the page break...

Blogtober Day 22: How I de-stress and find my calm, and how you can too.

Disclaimer:  This is not medical advice in any way.  If you have problems dealing with stress or sometimes feel overwhelmed (like I do) please consult your doctor or medical professional.    

Hi Honeys, 

What's the first thing that jumps into your mind when I say the word meditate?  

As my health (and mobility) have worsened these past few years, I've tried to embrace the concept of self care.  The care and maintenance of this fleshy shell I walk around in hasn't ever been a priority to me, I'm ashamed to say.  Life has always been too full, too busy, and for every minute in the day I always had three minutes worth of stuff to do. 

Even now, when I have more time to myself,self care doesn't come easily to me. There is a part of my mind that considers it so selfish to think only of myself, even when it's related to my health.  I'm sure a very smart person somewhere could go into the psychological side of why that is but I'm not that smart so I won't be the one making any sense of it all 😖 

Back to meditating.  Do you meditate honeys?  Maybe, like me, you do and don't even know it! I should explain...

I was told (to my great surprise) around a year or so ago that what I do to find calm, to avoid panic attacks, is actually a form of meditation.  I honestly had no idea, I only knew that it worked and had even helped me get through a CT scan at the hospital. 

I'll start from the beginning, will I honeys?  Before I do, why don't you fetch a cuppa, and maybe a cookie or two, and I'll meet you back here after the page break? 

Blogtober day 12: Where are you happiest honeys?

 Hi Honeys, 

How are you today?  It's day 12 of Blogtober, almost halfway through the month!  Our furbaby Jade and I have been busy.  We did a little decluttering and caught up on laundry while waiting for Hubby to get home from work.         

Tonight we made cauliflower cheese for dinner.  We're moving to warmer dishes in our dinner rotation, it's time for warming soups and huge pots of stovies on the stove .  The central heating is on, winter woollies, like jumpers and cardigans, are already in use, with scarves and hats and gloves soon to follow.... if it ever gets safe enough again to be outside for shielding spoonies like me. In the mean time, I'll just pester Hubby to wear his 💕

It might be because I've been home since the original lock down in March but I really am starting to get the feeling that I might never leave our home again.  Amazingly enough, the thought of being at home for the foreseeable future doesn't phase me. At all, actually.  Not even a little bit. I think I'm ok with it. 

The truth is that our home really is where I'm happiest and, much as I do genuinely love my job, I never feel completely at peace when I'm not here.  Home is where I'm happiest, it's where my darling Hubby is and our furbaby of course. It's where I can be just me.

Whenever I've been out in the world, whether at work or an appointment at our doctors surgery (pretty much the only places I've gone for the past couple of years sadly) the second I step into our home and the front door closes behind me, I can feel my shoulders relax. I feel at peace, I'm home💖  

As fellow Spoonies will know, when living with a long term chronic illness we develop certain skills, certain coping mechanisms, and even ways to keep the world away when we have to.  We develop the ability to create a mask to wear when we absolutely have to interact with the outside world. 

We live with chronic pain and fatigue, we're no longer in charge of our bodies, but acknowledging this to ourselves is difficult enough, much less sharing it with anyone else.  So, we craft a mask to wear.  A happy, smiley, all-is-well mask to hide behind that can usually fool (almost) everyone around us that we're fine. Nothing to see here, move along please.  Don't look too closely...   

It's exhausting though, wearing this mask.  It drains a lot of energy being "on" all the time.  

Maybe this awful virus can be a "reset" for all of us honeys?  Maybe we don't have to wear a mask anymore?  Maybe we can all just be who we are?  Maybe the world won't mind if we get tired or hurt too much to take part some days?  Maybe the world wouldn't judge us for being us after all? 

Maybe in the post corona world the human race will learn that everyone is needed. Everyone has thoughts, feelings, experiences, joys and sadness that all contribute to the wonderful world that we live in, and make that world what it is. Maybe, someday, we won't need to put on our masks at all anymore. Not the little fabric ones and especially not the ones nobody else can see. 

Till next time dear ones, stay warm and safe, hugs always xx

5 Ways To Pass The Time Till Lock Down Ends

Disclaimer:  I haven't been paid to promote any stores, products or apps in this post, just sharing some fun ways to pass the time while we're all still at home.

Hi Honeys
How are you today?  It was a beautiful, sunny day outside yesterday, so I spent the day doing laundry, with the help of our furbaby Jade, my adorable constant companion and laundry assistant 💖

These past few months have been a real challenge in all kinds of ways for all of us.  I haven't left our home since my last shift at work, in mid March, and Hubby is working from home via conference calls.

We've been relying on amazing delivery drivers to bring us grocery supplies whenever Hubby hasn't been able to make it to the shops and it's felt a little like we've been marooned on our own little home shaped island.

I can't lie, it's been wonderful Hubby appearing at lunchtime each day to have his lunch with Jade & I before going back upstairs to work again.  I'll miss that when the world goes back to normal again and Hubby said it's a far easier commute.😊 

As I've said many times honeys, being a Spoonie really has given me the most awesome hermit skills and these skills have stood me in good stead during the current lock down.  Being in our little home is my favourite place in the whole world to be.  I feel at my calmest and safest and happiest here.💖

Whenever I've been outside, at work or at a Doctor's or hospital appointment, I get home and as soon as the front door closes behind me my shoulders relax and I feel wrapped in such an overwhelming sensation of calm.  If someone were to tell me I could never set foot outside our home ever again, I'd just smile and say "OK, fancy a cuppa?."

I'm fully aware how odd this sounds honeys, I really am.  Around this time of year, in our break room at work, co-workers would usually be discussing their holiday plans.  Lots of excited, happy chatter about where everyone is going, what they're going to do there and how long they have to wait till they leave. I love hearing everyone's plans and seeing how excited they are.

Even after all the years I've worked there, I know I'm still looked on strangely every year when it gets to "my turn" and I say (again) that we don't go away anywhere.  Throw into the mix that neither Hubby nor I have a passport and there are wide eyed, unbelieving stares and the occasional comment along the lines of "... but, how can you not, though?.."   

Where would be the fun in life if everybody was the same dear ones? If there has to be somebody cast as the odd one, well it's fine if it's me 😊

This is quite a post so why not go grab a cuppa (and maybe a cookie or two?) and I'll meet you back here after the page break?  See you in a few honeys...

Spring Is On Her Way...

Hello Honeys,
How are you today?  I'm in a very smiley mood 😊  As I write this, our furbaby Jade is cuddled up next to me on the sofa having a nap and our feathered guests are tweeting excitedly, and quite loudly, in the garden at the bird feeders💖

I've seen two baby sparrows so far this past few days, the peonies are beginning to push their way through the earth in their huge planter by the back door and, even though it's still far too cold to be outside for too long, spring is on her way at last.🌷🌼

Spring is my absolute favourite time of year dear ones.  I count down to it every year, much to the annoyance of everyone at work.  Understandable I suppose, given that I usually start around late October to early November every year and give them all weekly updates. 😊

I love watching the garden wake up from her (too) long winter nap, tiny, green shoots begin to appear on the rose bushes and lavender and yes, tiny, baby birds start to appear at the bird feeders on our little apple tree💖 

I've never been able to understand how it is that winter seems to feel as if it's never-ending and yet spring, and summer too, appear to fly past in a heartbeat.

Spring, technically, arrives in exactly two weeks, although someone really should have a word with Mother Nature because with such a relatively mild winter the garden, and all of our garden guests who visit, seem to be a wee bit confused. 

I can't wait to be surrounded by all of the sights, colours, scents and sounds of the garden during summer honeys.  I can't begin to describe how happy it makes me.  Take that arthritis! Happiness is better than any medication in the world. 😄

I'm already being woken up before 5 am by the chirping and cheeping in the back garden and I can't imagine a better start to the day. 💝

Work on our garden will start as soon as the weather will allow it.  We've had so, so much rain these past few months.  Our street was even flooded a fortnight ago.  None of that will matter though when I'm finally outside with my little trowel and watering can planting out some new lavender.

I've been promising myself all through this cold, windy, storm filled winter that it's the first thing I'll do in the garden this year.  The lavender we have by the back door was especially popular with our beautiful, buzzy guests.🐝  

They didn't even seem to mind my appearing with my camera and trying to snap photos of them.  This one is still my favourite.💖

I hope you're feeling as happy and as blessed as I am today honeys.  Are you looking froward to spring and summer as much as I am?

You don't need to have a garden to watch things grow, I remember only having a little window box full of daffodils and how much they made me smile.💖  You don't even need a window box.  If you have a window the sun shines through regularly, you can still have a mini garden in pretty pots 🌻🌼🌷

We all have so much to be grateful for.  I know that life can feel a little joyless at times, especially during long, dark winters, but there is always something beautiful somewhere.  Sometimes we just have to look for it is all.

Till next time dear ones, wishing you so many smiles that your face aches (in a good way!) and sending you mountains of hugs x

Simple Swaps For Sustainable Living: How To Use Less, Buy Less And Save More

Disclaimer:  I have not been paid to recommend or promote any products, I'm just sharing our travels on the road to living a more sustainable, less wasteful life x

Hi Honeys,
How are you today? It's been a quiet, calm day here, mostly trying to recover from the past two days spent mostly catching up with laundry.  I make it a rule to do at least one load of laundry each morning and that usually manages to stop it from becoming a pile I can lose our furbaby Jade in 😃 

As you might know honeys, I work retail over the weekend so always have a bit of catching up to do on a Monday and Tuesday but this past weekend was the end of the month, always a busy time in retail, and I was just so drained it took me longer than usual to catch up.

While Jade is having a nap next to me on the sofa, I thought we could chat about some simple little swaps we've been making, including the latest two which I could kick myself for not knowing about sooner! 

For quite a while now we've been trying to live a healthier, more sustainable life and while most of the changes we've made are small tweaks, replacing disposable things with reusable items instead for instance, it's been fun finding new, less wasteful ways to do the things that we do everyday.

Why not go grab a cuppa then honeys and meet me back here, after the page break (press the link) and I'll share what we've done so far and also those two latest tweaks I mentioned.  See you in a few minutes....

Blogtober Day 18: How I Deal With Stress And Find My Calm...

Disclaimer:  This is not medical advice in any way.  If you have problems dealing with stress or sometimes feel overwhelmed (like I do) please consult a doctor or medical professional. 

Hi Honeys,
Here we are at the weekend again.  Time is passing so fast, we'll be celebrating the holidays again before we know it 😊   Today is also day eighteen of the Blogtober challenge, where bloggers attempt to write thirty one posts in thirty one days.

I have to dash off to work soon but for today's post I'd share something very precious to me.  It's how I've coped with some very stressful situations, it's how I always find my calm place and it never lets me down... 

It all started a few years ago when I saw a lovely canvas online.  Have you ever just immediately connected with something honeys?  A connection so strong, it almost defies words?

The moment I saw this perfect, tranquil scene, showing a flight of sandy covered steps leading down to a beautiful beach, I made that kind of connection.

I immediately ordered it and ever since it arrived it's been at the centre of what has, over time, grown into what I call "my calm wall."
 

The wall immediately above the headboard of the bed in our master bedroom, is my calm wall.  For some years now it's been my "safe place."  I suffer from anxiety dear ones, I used to have the most terrible "panic attacks" but (touch wood!) those have been mostly controlled over the past couple of years.  I learned, no matter where I was, if I closed my eyes and just concentrated on my breathing, block out the noise or whatever was causing the overwhelm.

It helps, I think, that my calm place isn't just on the wall of our master bedroom, it's also in my head too.  Whenever I feel as if I'm not coping very well, I go upstairs, sit in the middle of the bed and stare at my canvas.

It took quite a while, it certainly didn't happen overnight, but I have stared so long at my precious canvas that I can now, mentally at least, step into it.  I can feel the steps under my feet, the salt air on my skin, the wind in my hair and I can walk down the steps and sit on the beach to watch the waves. The ability to do this, even when I'm away from home, has helped me so much in dealing with stressful, even frightening situations.

Two years ago, when I had to attend our local hospital to have a CT scan done, I was genuinely frightened honeys.  I had no experience of this scan, I had to have an IV put into my arm (another unfamiliar and frightening experience) and I have to admit, it became almost overwhelming at one point, but my little canvas came to the rescue, just as it always does. You can read what happened here. 

I don't have any kind of experience in, or knowledge of, coping mechanisms for stress dear ones, I only know what has helped me.  I'm not even sure I understand how it helps, only that it does.

Maybe the secret is to find something, not necessarily an object, like a canvas, maybe a piece of music, a phrase or poem, something that has a similar connection to the one I have with my little canvas?  Once found, it can, over time, become your calming aid too?

As I said honeys, where there was once only my little canvas on my "calm wall," it's been joined over time by other items and my tiny oasis of calm now looks like this...       

The latest additions were these beautiful ceramic origami birds in flight. On the wall they are flying towards the beach scene in the canvas.  I like that.

There is also a lovely framed print, a gift from Hubby this year as part of my birthday.  Again, I saw it online and just couldn't stop staring at it.  It shows the prettiest cottage by the sea, there's laundry blowing in the breeze in the garden of the cottage and I can so easily imagine Hubby, our furbaby Jade and I living very happily there honeys 💖

Find something that you connect with honeys.  You'll know it when you find it, or maybe it will find you, as I believe my little canvas did with me...

Even looking at these sandy covered steps now makes me feel immediately calm, happy even.  I so wish that everyone could find the same sense of calm, that same happiness.

How do you deal with stress honeys?  Do you have a calm wall? Do you meditate?  I suppose that's what I'm doing when I go sit upstairs, when I concentrate all of my attention on the beach in my little canvas and on my own breathing. 

Wishing you calm in a busy, noisy world dear ones, and so much happiness 💖  Till next time, smile lots and hug even more, hugs always x

Blogtober Day 16: Counting My Blessings...

Hi Honeys, 
How are you today?  I'm trapped in a low mood, if I'm honest. I've been battling acute arthritis pain in my spine for the past week or so and I'm getting increasingly fed up with not being able to move without the devil's minions stabbing me with their pitchforks. 

I've always found on days like this, nothing helps more than taking stock of the good I'm blessed to have in my life.  So, that's what I thought I'd do dear ones.  Far more helpful than allowing those minions to set the pace of my day. 

So, today is day sixteen of Blogtober and today I'm counting my blessings...    

Be mindful of what you tolerate.. 

It's so easy for life's day to day problems to overshadow everything that would normally make us smile honeys, and we simply can't allow that to happen.  Nothing, and no one, else should ever set the narrative of our happiness for us. 

The world isn't always kind, even when you are dear ones, so taking stock of our lives now and again, appreciating, and being thankful for the good we find and taking note of any troubling issues is so important. We need to be mindful of what we tolerate in our lives.  

That in no way means cutting people and things out of our lives just because our relationship with them might require a little effort on our part.  It does mean though that we should never allow ourselves to be abused or bullied or pressured, no matter how much we care for the person doing it.

Life really is short, the years pass far too quickly and you owe yourself the same care and kindness as you treat others with.  For over twenty five years, through school years and beyond, I had two friends who were less than kind at times.  I was reminded almost constantly how unattractive I was, how stupid, how.. well less than I was. 

Why did you put up with it, I hear you ask.  I don't know what to say honeys except it never occurred to me not to.  I've always been a solitary person. I'm happy with my own company and maybe I was happy to have a friends?  I'm not sure.  Whatever the reason, they weren't always unkind but they were more often unkind than not.  Be kind and understanding in your dealings with the world dear ones, but do try to be mindful of what you tolerate. 

Counting my blessings...

Here they are then honeys, my blessings, my smiles 💖                 

My Sweet Hubby & Our Furbaby Jade 💗 

Whenever I think of the good in my life dear ones, Hubby and our furbaby will always be first 💖 Our furbaby is the sweetest, loveliest Staffy cross with the gentlest nature.  She adores walks with her Dad and snuggling with her Mum on the sofa, napping under one of her blankets.  

Every day she makes me smile and she's my constant companion when Hubby is at work.  Currently, she's trying to make friends with a little squirrel who visits our garden 😊 This has been an ongoing project all through this summer, bless her.  

One afternoon, while pegging out laundry, Jade ran past me across the grass and I turned to see the squirrel run away from her and scoot up the fence and into the tree immediately behind the fence.  Jade stopped at the fence and sat down, staring up into the tree where the squirrel sat looking down at her.  After a minute or two, Jade went back across our patio to fetch one of her favourite toys, one of her tennis balls, and took it back to the fence where she dropped it and backed away and sat down again, wagging her tail 

She so desperately wants to be friends with the little squirrel, and who knows, maybe one day the squirrel will want to be friends too.💖  

Hubby and I met in a queue outside the cinema and got chatting.  It felt as if I'd always known him honeys but even if Hubby & I had been born on opposite sides of the world from each other the fates would have found a way for us to meet.  I know that in the marrow of my bones.

We were absolutely destined to be together. We are so alike!  I can remember in our dating days, when we both still lived at home, I sent a card to him once and his Mother, my beloved and much missed Mother in law, commented that when she picked up the post she wondered why he'd written himself a letter because our handwriting was so similar 😊 

You know those matching salt & pepper shakers that look very odd on their own but look so right when side by side? That, dear ones describes Hubby & I to a tee and I'm fine with that.  Our natures, our hobbies, thoughts, and interests are so in sync.  Even after all these years, over thirty, we can, and often do, laugh and talk for hours. He is a constant support in everything I want to do, from trying out recipes, to organising our home, whatever I want to do, he's right by my side saying that sounds like fun honey, let's do it.  He is a part of me, my other half 💑 I am blessed. 

Our Home

It's not fancy and you won't find it in a magazine but our little semi detached house with the apple tree in the back garden and the much loved roses in the tiny front garden is my safe place away from the noise and the bustle of the world.

Mobility and health issues mean that I rarely venture outside anymore honeys, but when I do, either to my two shifts each week or to doctors or hospital appointments, our home hugs me as I walk though the door.  It's my happy place and it's where Hubby & Jade are 💖    

 

My Job

I know honeys, who counts their job among their blessings, right?  I work two days a week, in retail, on a checkout. My shifts are quite long and cover hours that not everyone would want to work, but for us that's fine.  Hubby works in an office all week and my shifts being on a late Friday and late into Saturday means that our furbaby Jade doesn't ever have to be on her own.  

Jade came to us from a rescue, she was young but had already been badly treated, bless her, and as a result she has anxiety issues and doesn't cope well with being on her own.  I feel blessed that I am still able to work and that my job allows me to be with Jade when her dad is at work, while Hubby is with Jade when I'm at work. 

More than allowing us to work our rotas around caring for our furbaby honeys, my little job is (even if it's only a tiny bit) helping us to pay our mortgage and bills and is also a vital connection to the outside world.  I look forward to seeing regular customers and co-workers who have become friends.  I love my job and you know the old saying dear ones, a man who loves his job never does a day's work. 

It isn't always fun, shifts can be exhausting and leave me in pain but my little job is helping our little family and it's helping me by keeping me a part of the world.  For all these reasons, it's one of my blessings.          

This Little Blog

Just like my job, this little blog is my connection with the world outside our home.  It allows me to have a voice and it allows me to write.  I've always written dear ones, even as a child.  When I started this blog I intended it to be a place to keep a record of our organising projects in our home and over the past few years it's evolved into what it is now, a little collection of my thoughts, hobbies, recipes and day to day life.  

My blog is very important to me and, at some point, I'd like to give it the attention it's importance in my life means it deserves. Initially, I think I'll try to figure out how to move to a self hosted platform.  I adore my little blog honeys, thank you so much for visiting, and for making this little piece of the internet less lonely.  It means more to me than I can say 💖     

Our Garden

I can't imagine not having our garden honeys.  It's home to our little apple tree, which gives us lots of lovely bramley apples to bake with every year, it's home to our much loves roses, planted in honour of my beloved Gramma and Mother in law. 

Our garden is visited by precious guests all year long.  Jade's favourite squirrel of course, so many beautiful birds as well as ladybirds, butterflies (sadly so rare now) and of course my much loved buzzy friends too...  

I know how precious the gift of having a garden, a window on nature, is and I'm deeply thankful for it honeys.  

What are your blessings dear ones? What makes you smile?  I hope you're having the best week and looking forward to a wonderful weekend 💖  Till next time, smile lots and hug even more, hugs always x