Hi Honeys,
How are you today? It's day 12 of Blogtober, almost halfway through the month! Our furbaby Jade and I have been busy. We did a little decluttering and caught up on laundry while waiting for Hubby to get home from work.
Tonight we made cauliflower cheese for dinner. We're moving to warmer dishes in our dinner rotation, it's time for warming soups and huge pots of stovies on the stove . The central heating is on, winter woollies, like jumpers and cardigans, are already in use, with scarves and hats and gloves soon to follow.... if it ever gets safe enough again to be outside for shielding spoonies like me. In the mean time, I'll just pester Hubby to wear his 💕
It might be because I've been home since the original lock down in March but I really am starting to get the feeling that I might never leave our home again. Amazingly enough, the thought of being at home for the foreseeable future doesn't phase me. At all, actually. Not even a little bit. I think I'm ok with it.
The truth is that our home really is where I'm happiest and, much as I do genuinely love my job, I never feel completely at peace when I'm not here. Home is where I'm happiest, it's where my darling Hubby is and our furbaby of course. It's where I can be just me.
Whenever I've been out in the world, whether at work or an appointment at our doctors surgery (pretty much the only places I've gone for the past couple of years sadly) the second I step into our home and the front door closes behind me, I can feel my shoulders relax. I feel at peace, I'm home💖
As fellow Spoonies will know, when living with a long term chronic illness we develop certain skills, certain coping mechanisms, and even ways to keep the world away when we have to. We develop the ability to create a mask to wear when we absolutely have to interact with the outside world.
We live with chronic pain and fatigue, we're no longer in charge of our bodies, but acknowledging this to ourselves is difficult enough, much less sharing it with anyone else. So, we craft a mask to wear. A happy, smiley, all-is-well mask to hide behind that can usually fool (almost) everyone around us that we're fine. Nothing to see here, move along please. Don't look too closely...
It's exhausting though, wearing this mask. It drains a lot of energy being "on" all the time.
Maybe this awful virus can be a "reset" for all of us honeys? Maybe we don't have to wear a mask anymore? Maybe we can all just be who we are? Maybe the world won't mind if we get tired or hurt too much to take part some days? Maybe the world wouldn't judge us for being us after all?
Maybe in the post corona world the human race will learn that everyone is needed. Everyone has thoughts, feelings, experiences, joys and sadness that all contribute to the wonderful world that we live in, and make that world what it is. Maybe, someday, we won't need to put on our masks at all anymore. Not the little fabric ones and especially not the ones nobody else can see.
Till next time dear ones, stay warm and safe, hugs always xx
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