Letting Go, Accepting Change And Moving On...

Hello Honeys
Happy new year dear ones ❤  How are you? Well I hope and looking forward to a wonderful weekend.  I'm sorry I've been so quiet recently.  I've been really ill for the past three weeks, my yearly chest infection was closely followed by the worst stomach bug, but more than that, and for much longer, I've been trying to fight my way out of a very deep funk.  It's what happens (to me anyway) when life becomes overwhelming or I'm not coping so well.  I go quiet.  Really, really quiet.  Does anyone else do this?

This might possibly be one of the most personal posts I've written dear ones so why not grab a coffee, and maybe a cookie, and meet me back here in a few minutes to chat?

Welcome back honeys.  OK, things appear to be changing and I've never been good at handling change.  Does anyone like change?  I'm sure the world is full of adventurous people who seek out challenges, who want each day to be different from the last but that's never been me dear ones.  Not even a little bit.

I take a great deal of comfort in knowing, when I open my eyes each morning, what that day holds in store.  I like routine, I enjoy knowing what I have to do that day and for quite some time now my health, and increasing mobility difficulties, have been restricting what I am actually able to achieve.
  
This post might possibly be as close as I come to complaining.  I make it a rule generally to try not to complain.  I'm a great believer that what we put out into the universe will come back to us and life can be difficult enough without inviting negativity into our lives, don't you think?

The current feelings of almost overwhelming "I can't cope anymore" does feel as if it's landed on me like an avalanche sweeping me up and carrying me along but I know that it's been stalking me for quite a while now.  I've just been refusing to acknowledge it's there.

I know that my arthritis has gotten worse because of the now almost constant, extreme pain in my spine (I have osteo arthritis in the base of my spine and have also been battling rheumatoid arthritis for over twenty years) so yes, it's gotten increasingly difficult to do things I've been (fooling myself) that I've still been able to do but what's bugging me the most is the extreme exhaustion that just doesn't want to go away.  It's gone on too long and just doesn't seem to want to quit.

I have a decision to make honeys.  I'm thinking of dropping one of my shifts at work.  I know it's the right thing to do because for so many months now I've been losing the two days following my work days and it's gotten to the point now that I'm so run down that I'm getting ill and I'd rather hide away than interact with anyone.  

I suppose I retreat from the world when I'm at my lowest because I'm just not strong enough to maintain the very carefully crafted mask I wear when I have no option but to go out and interact with people.  If you were to ask any of my co-workers they'd all, I'm sure, say the same things about me.  That Rosie, she's always laughing and smiling, always happy.

It's taken a long time to perfect my happy Rosie mask and in fact I think it's second nature now, I unconsciously slip it on as I go out through the front door, but you know what honeys? It's exhausting at times, especially when I'm already feeling run down or, as I mentioned earlier, I'm in a deep funk.  Someone please tell me honeys that I'm not alone?

I've promised myself that this year I'll press ahead with plans I've had for a long time now.  For instance we still have a house full of clutter and I'm determined to get back to working on our home again this year, even if it's one drawer or shelf at a time. 

I'm going to concentrate on my health more too.  I started beginners yoga a couple of months ago but I didn't get very far in it because I've been so run down.  I'm going to start making time again for my mini yoga class to start my day.  I really enjoyed it, it was such a great way to start my day and it was actually helping with the pain in my lower spine.

A very smart Doctor said to me a while ago that if I wanted to work longer that I had to work smarter.  Things have changed dear ones, including my health and mobility issues making things a little more difficult to achieve, so I can either give up or I can accept that things have changed and find other ways to do what I want to do. 

I'm far too stubborn to give up 😄 so instead I'm hoping that by cutting tasks into smaller chunks, like decluttering one drawer at a time instead of attempting a whole room, that I can complete projects and actually accomplish more this year than I did last year.

Of course these plans include this blog.  I adore this blog but it's been neglected terribly for too long.  I really am sorry honeys and I'm going to try to do better this year.  Thank you so much for continuing to visit, even when it's gone quiet, it means more than I can say ❤   

Have you made any plans or resolutions for this year dear ones? Why not share in the comments?  Till next time, stay warm, smile lots and hug even more, huggles always xx