Hi Honeys,
Do you love your Mother in Law? I do. With all of my heart.💝 She was funny, loved coffee and a Jaffa cake. She loved roses, she could knit absolutely anything, she was so smart, she gave the best advice and she was the best listener too.
Yesterday, our lovely American cousins celebrated National Mother-in-law day. How wonderful is that? Now I have another holiday I wish we could import and adopt in the UK.🥰 The other holiday being thanksgiving - a whole day devoted to being thankful for the blessings we're lucky enough to have, how fabulous is that?💖
So, even though I'm a day late, I just couldn't let it go by, without paying tribute to, in my humble opinion, the best Mother-in-law there's ever been.💖
My Selfish Hubby - The Parent Hoarder!
For years I've joked with my sweet hubby about his complete and utter selfishness and the hoarding of his lovely parents. I should probably explain. Hubby and I grew up in the same areas, we lived reasonably close to each other throughout our childhoods. Who knows, we might potentially have passed each other in our prams/strollers several times a week at the park, or at one of the supermarkets...😄
I've always said we could easily have met long before we did, in our late teens, and then I could have shared his parents sooner. But oh no! He had to hoard them all for himself... Is it asking too much for him to have waved a mitten at me from his pram or thrown a rattle?😊💖
The Best Mother-In-Law...
On the night my beloved Granny, the woman I loved more than life, died, hubby phoned his family and my wonderful Mum-in-law immediately booked a train ticket for early next morning and travelled the 450 odd miles to be with us, staying over the weekend. She was undergoing chemo at the time and had to then travel back on the Monday for her next chemo appointment on the Tuesday morning, only to travel back to us on the Wednesday morning to be with us for the funeral.
Mum was, like my Granny, such an amazing woman. She was always there when she was needed and always there even when she wasn't and I loved them both for that. I swear honeys that I don't wish any ill or harm on anyone. Not ever, but it's never made sense to me that the world has so many bad people in it. People who hurt others, who do wish others ill, and yet, "the powers that be" in the universe decided that two of the most loving and giving, least selfish women I've ever known, couldn't be in it anymore. I'm sorry, but that's just not fair.
The Gift Of An Extra Mum...
It's always saddened me to never have met anybody else who truly adored their "second Mum" as much as I did, and still do. Really though, I never have and I can't understand why. How can you not love an extra Mum? What a fabulous gift! Of course, through the years, I have heard stories from co-workers about some less than loving Mothers-in-law too. I can't help thinking though that, like most of life's problems, maybe it comes down to communication?
Because of this, I thought I'd share a tiny bit of advice, given to me by my beloved Granny. Advice that helped me to understand why my sweet Mum-in-laws attitude towards me had, ever so subtly, changed a wee bit since the wedding. So, for any new brides (or grooms) thinking they'll never get on with their new Mother-in-law...
Some Genius Advice From A Wee Scottish Granny...
I was so sure, in the run up to our wedding that I was on very good terms with my soon to be Mother-in-law, but it seemed to change after the wedding. Nothing specific, she was never unkind to me, it just felt different. A couple of months after our wedding, the phone rang. I'd just made some tea and my Granny was there, hubby wasn't, he was outside. On the phone was Mum (as my dear Mother-in-law had become.) She asked to speak to Hubby and I said "he's outside, Mum. I'll give him a yell for you..."
Mum: "Don't bother, I'll phone back." <click as the phone went dead>
Me: 😯 <looks at phone> "That's it! I've had it! <paces back and forth in our living room> What is that woman's problem? What have I done? I'm a nice person, I have manners, I really like her, why doesn't she like me?"
Granny: <watches me pace while having a mini rant, sighed, sipped her tea and fed our wee dog a biscuit while waiting for me to run out of steam. I did of course.> "Finished now have we? I can tell you what you did.... if you want to know, and it's a terrible thing as well. The worst, most painful thing any woman can do to another one actually..."
Me: 😳 <wind knocked out of sails.... sits down> "What? What'd I do though? Should I phone her back and say sorry? What'd I do? Oh no! What'd I do Granny?"
Granny: "Like I said. You hurt her hen*(see below), you went and did the worst thing you could possibly do to her. You took her oldest son away."
Me: <confused now> "No I didn't! He's outside, with his head under the bonnet of a car! He's fixing some wot-not or whatever. I haven't taken him anywhere!" <points at window to make the point>
Granny: "Aye, hen, but he's no her wee boy anymore, is he?"
Me: <blinks rapidly> "That's daft though! How can I fix that?"
Granny: (and this right here is why she was, God bless her, the best Granny the good Lord ever put on this earth) "Oh, it's easy enough to fix. She's same as any woman, scared she's lost her son, so all you have to do is show her she's no lost him, and that she won't."
Me: "What?" <never thought about it before, but I might not be the smartest grandchild in the family😊>
Granny: "Both of you, go for a walk over to her house on a Sunday, after dinner. It's a good wee walk for the dog. Take her a box of chocolates or some flowers. Every now and again, send him on his own. Make sure he doesn't miss a Sunday, even if you're no always with him."
Me: "But she works all week, she's got two jobs, what if she gets fed up seeing us every single Sunday?"
Granny: "Nae mother ever gets fed up seeing her weans hen, but she'll no worry about losing him anymore, will she?"
So, there it is honeys. A tiny piece of genius advice from my wee Scottish Granny. I hope that it might help somebody out there on the internet break the "fear of losing her wean" barrier that might exist between them and their fabulous, absolutely awesome, wonderful, best pal (even if you don't know it yet) Mother-in-law.💖
Last Thoughts And Counting Your Blessings...
To anyone lucky enough, blessed, to still have their Mother-in-law, their Mother or their Granny still with them. Life is so, so short honeys. For all of us who wish, with every fibre of our being that we could see ours again, even one more time. Please give them a call, or even better, if you can, go visit and give them the tightest, squashiest, so full of "love you" hugs, like the ones that we all wish we could give? I guarantee, it'll mean the world to them and you'll be so glad someday you did.
Wishing you the best week dear ones, till next time, thank you for keeping me company. It means more than I can say, hugs always x
*Note: Just a wee note for anyone who may not know. The word hen in Scotland can indeed refer to a bird who supplies eggs, but in most cases, is a term of endearment and will be used when speaking to a (usually younger) female.
For example: "Would you like a cuppa hen?" if addressed to an (again, usually younger) man, the same statement might be "would you like a cuppa son?" Used whether you are the mans mother or not, it's just a term of endearment, just slang, hugs x
