Disclaimer: This blog post is not health advice. Please see your doctor or a health care professional if you think you might need help to talk through anything. I know it can feel as if we're alone at times but we're not honeys.💕 .
I was sitting on the sofa this morning and was hugging our furbaby Jade. Not that that's unusual, our baby is a very huggy wee dog but I love hugs too, so it's basically a hug fest around here most days😊 Well, all I had planned for today, being Monday, was to catch up on laundry from the weekend to pass the time till Hubby got home from work so we can have dinner and chat. That was when it hit me...
That this was going to be a really good day.😊 A wonderful day actually. Literally all I had planned was spending time with our much loved furbaby, in between loading the washing machine and dryer all while waiting for my best pal to get home. That's my best day!💖
I'm sensing puzzlement and baffled looks honeys.😊 I understand, I really do. That must sound like the most boring day to most people, but to me, it's heaven.😊 Today really did end up being a great day exactly because it's been filled with everything I love most and nothing I dislike at all. It's gotten chillier but I didn't have any reason to go outside anyway, so I got to stay in my "happy bubble" all day.
Attitude is everything...
I remember complaining once, to a very sweet nurse, about the effects my arthritis was having on my day to day life. (Oh, to have the level of mobility I had then😒) Well, this lovely, kind lady said that it's a life altering illness and the trick was to change with it but not to let it beat me. "Fight the battles you can win.." she said. "..If you keep setting yourself up for failure, you'll get tired of fighting."
That was over twenty years ago honeys, and my arthritis has progressed, my mobility further affected but I'll never forget that lovely nurses advice. I keep it close to me alongside lessons I learned from my beloved Grammy, who, among many, many life skills, taught me to always count my blessings.
There are days when I do feel stronger, when I can accomplish things I can't on other days but that's where I count my blessings and do what I know I can do successfully. I fight the battles I can win.
Our furbaby is the centre of our home (and she knows it too, bless her💖🐶💖) so what could be better than hugging and spending time with her? As for the laundry? Well, for many (really many😄) years I've always said that my best days have laundry in them... and for me they really do. I love doing laundry. Every little bit of it.😄
World Mental Health Day
Today is World Mental Health Day dear ones and when I read about it this morning I did think, having battled depression for over twenty years, longer really, that maybe I should devote a post to how I cope with those days when finding my smile is really, really difficult. I do have them.
I lost my job during lockdown. It wasn't an important job, it was a minimum wage position in retail but I loved it. I was as happy there as I am in my "happy bubble" at home with Hubby, Jade and all the laundry I can handle.😄 I loved my wee job.💖 I had so many lovely regular customers who I served for so many years that the children who came in shopping with them when I started there, were themselves getting married, having babies. I belonged to the most amazing group of co-workers and I miss them all so badly.
My little part time job was so important for all those reasons honeys but also (or maybe particularly?) because it was the only time, other than doctors or hospitals appointments, that I ever went outside. It was a physical connection to the outside world and losing it was devasting. It happened though at a time when the whole world was "on hold" and we were all of us in a completely unforeseen place. We'd all just lived through a pandemic.
It was because of the effects of the pandemic that I was able to, eventually, cope or to at least get through how it felt at the beginning and to reach the point I've reached. Notably, that Hubby was working from home. I was able to cope because I had my best friend with me. Even though he was upstairs working in his home office during the day, just knowing that he was here, just upstairs if I needed him meant everything. More than anything though, Hubby listened, and he still listens (thank you sweetheart, love you x)
Coping...
I still have days honeys, when the sun doesn't shine. On those days I do what I need to do - on that day - to cope. I've learned what are apparently called "coping mechanisms" through the years. These methods of coping I've learned/stumbled across and discovered they worked for me. I wasn't taught any of them, I just learned as I lived my journey.
I know now, from experience, how to choose which tool I need from my coping methods collection, on that day, to be OK. For example, on losing my job, my immediate fear was how will we pay the bills! For so many years we've always had two wages coming in each month. Mine was only part-time but it helped.
Coping method 1: Hubby & I sat down with a pen and paper and wrote out all of our outgoings - regular bills, direct debits, everything. We totalled it up and on finding that Hubby's wage covered them, well, that really helped. That practical step helped. It took away the panic that was in that moment. The emotional fall-out of course followed, and that hit me much harder. Which leads me to...
Coping method 2: Talking. This helped me more than anything. Hubby listened to me for hours, and continues to listen on not-great days (love you sweetheart x)
Coping method 3: My beach💖 I'd been using this method for quite some time when I was told that what I was doing was meditating! Who knew!😊 To think that my "safe place" that I have retreated to in some very scary moments would start when I saw a beautiful canvas online and fell in love with it at first sight. I explain about it here in this post honeys, and how it got me through a CT scan at the hospital. It's quite a long post though, as I wrote it to help anyone who had found out they had to have a CT scan and felt as nervous as I did before I had mine. If you're going to read it, take a cuppa with you honeys, and maybe a cookie.💖.
It doesn't have to be a beach though, dear ones. Find your "safe place." It can be a memory, a song, a book, a photograph you can "step into." Just something that makes you feel good, and make it yours.💖
More coping methods that have worked for me:
1. Music: Put on ear buds and lay down on the sofa, close your eyes and disappear into your favourite music or why not dance? Do what makes you feel good honeys, sing along, sing loudly🤗💖
2. Reading: disappear into a really good book or why not grab those ear buds again and listen to a great book on audio?
3. Pottering in the garden: Whether snipping at our beloved roses or pottering about at our mini indoor herb garden, I love it and it makes my heart smile honeys💖
Give yourself permission to do something just for you honeys. Call it a treat, a reward for getting through a tough day, whatever you love.💖
How do you cope with bad days honeys? Do you have any ways to share? I'd love to hear them.💗
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Till next time dear ones, thank you for keeping me company, hugs always xx
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