Slow And Steady Wins The Race. How a chronic illness teaches us patience and how not to be too angry about it

Disclaimer:  This is NOT medical advice, if you have any health enquiries or problems please discuss them with your Doctor or health professional dear ones.

Hi Honeys
How are you today?  All well I hope?  I'm sorry I've been missing recently.  I'm learning to accept what is honeys, even if I'm not so happy about it.

For the past few weeks now I've been battling the extreme fatigue that's so well known to anyone living with a chronic (long term) health condition. Alongside this hideous feeling of complete exhaustion has been near constant pain, including frequent visits by the muscle spasms generally referred to by Doctors as "restless leg."

"Restless leg" has to be the worst, the most useless identifying name given to any health condition ever and has clearly been given by someone who has never suffered from the painful, uncontrollable jerking of limbs (since it affects more than legs, I have them in my arms too at times) which feel as if electric shocks are racing through the affected body part. 

Luckily my wonderful Doctor, now retired unfortunately and I miss him terribly, found a medication which helps to control this painful torment so I take my medication and wait for the spasms to pass.

Much like my arthritis dear ones, there is no beating it, no cure for it, there is only acceptance and doing my best to get through each day.

In fact, I'd say that accepting the limitations placed on us is the first, and definitely the harshest, lesson those living with a long term medical condition are faced with on our journey down the alternate route we've been forced to take in our lives.

No one, when young, healthy and able bodied, ever thinks to themselves "I'd better make the most of this, some day I'll have difficulty walking any distance at all."

It sounds depressing doesn't it dear ones?  If I'm honest some days it does feel like too much to bear and I don't cope at all well.  The thing is though, it really needn't be.  Why not grab a cuppa, and maybe a cookie, and meet me back here in a few minutes and I'll tell you why...

Welcome back honeys 😘 Have you got a cuppa? Cool, me too 😊

It seems to be human nature to do battle with ourselves instead of what ails us.  I am the first to admit that I'm a stubborn wee Rosie.  I don't like being told I can't do something, even if it's me who's doing the telling!  Instead of listening to my body, I've always kept going, past the point where I should practice a little self care and should rest, past the point where I begin to, as my dear Doctor once said to me, "write cheques your body simply cannot cash."

No Pity Parties Allowed...

Now, that all being said dear ones, I apologise if it sounds as if I'm beginning to stray into the realms of something I won't tolerate, the dreaded pity party.

Nope.  Pity parties should never be allowed, ever to take a single step through the door of our consciousness, because feeling sorry for ourselves and concentrating on everything we can't do as well as we used to, is a slippery, slidey slope to giving up and letting whatever is bugging us win the battle! That just can't be allowed to happen.

Pity parties, even tiny ones, are the vacuum of happiness. They will, if you let them, suck every bit of joy out of your life. As I said honeys, not happening.  You're worth far more than that. 

Planning For Success...

It really is simple.  It's so simple you'll forget you're doing it.  It will become a routine, a habit.  A good habit though, not like seeing something interesting on pinterest like a really cool recipe and opening it into a new tab and then immediately noticing something more interesting and doing the same thing until you have a million tabs open and your poor computer is struggling to scroll down a page.... everyone does that, right?

It's not just me sitting there with a million tabs open most of them leading to pages promising I can "make a pasta sauce better than any found in the best Italian restaurants!"  There's a reason I keep jars of Dolmio in my pantry cupboard dear ones... for shame not being able to make my own pasta sauce as nicely as pre-bought tastes 😊

Focus Rosie! Not everyone is obsessed with finding the perfect pasta sauce recipe 😊 

Before taking on a project or task, it always pays to plan ahead.  I'll give you an example.  You might know I work in retail.  I work two incredibly busy shifts each week.  I know that in order to get through those shifts I need to plan ahead.

Time And Energy Are Valuable, Don't Waste Either!

I work Friday till late and again from Saturday lunchtime through till late again.  This means my Thursdays are never used for anything, not even Doctors or hospital appointments. I know I have a very limited reserve of precious energy in my "body batteries" and that these energy levels can drop like a stone, often without warning.  Planning helps me to (mostly) avoid this.

So, on Thursdays our furbaby Jade and I have a lovely quiet day each week.  Maybe I'll plan a double bill of my favourite movies or just sit on the sofa and surf pinterest, who knows there might be a magical pasta sauce recipe out there I haven't seen yet 😊  I do allow myself to do my daily one load of laundry on my quiet day... don't judge me honeys, laundry is fun to me so it's self care really... plus I get lovely clean laundry too 😊

Since I have this lovely calming day, it allows me to prep for my shifts ahead.  I sort my clothes for both days, check my work bag is organised and charge my mobile phone.  It does sound like a lot but it really isn't.  From beginning to end these checks will take me less than 5-6 minutes.  This is because my ever-so-flattering retail uniform (not really) is all washed and placed onto hangers on Mondays when I catch up with my laundry and other chores, so they're sitting upstairs on a useful rail in our guest room which we tend to use for work clothes.

My work bag just needs a quick check because I don't use it for anything else and I charge my phone by plugging it into the usb port of my laptop so it can be happily charging while I continue to search out the perfect home made pasta sauce recipe 😊

Allow Yourself Recovery Time...

The day following my busy, exhausting shifts I always know that those body batteries will be almost flattened and will have to be re-charged.  This is fine because Sunday is always planned as a rest day.  It's also the highlight of my week since it's the only day both Hubby and I are in our home together all day and nothing on this earth is better than spending the day with my honey and our furbaby 😊

Your body batteries will sometimes need to re-charge too dear ones so planning a rest period to follow anything draining, such as busy shifts, a day of running errands or just dealing with the chaos life likes to throw at us, is so important to allow our systems to recover.

Treat Yourself...

Adding an element of fun to our rest time gives us something to look forward to.  Promise yourself a treat. Something you'll enjoy, a home spa day, listening to your favourite music, going outside and enjoying nature or tackling a stack of laundry.... that's just me again isn't it? 😊  I can't help it and I don't want to neither! 😊 I really do adore laundry...

Whatever you plan as a treat for making it through the chores and annoyances life happily sends us, make sure you enjoy it and don't allow it to be taken away.  You've done everything you have to do to keep the world around you happy now it's your turn dear ones.

Do you colour?  I do.  Sometimes when I'm feeling a little overwhelmed or even if I'm the only one awake at 3am I'll take out my books and pencils and just like that I'm calm and happily watching as something pretty appears from the page.

Find your joy, find what makes you happy and once you've found it, remember that self care isn't selfish it's vital.  It helps to re-charge those body batteries and that in turn allows us to be able to give the time, attention and energy to those we love and to the world around us.

Slow And Steady...

Being forced to live with a chronic (long term) illness teaches us so many valuable lessons.  It teaches us to appreciate those who continue to be in our lives, to love those who never stop loving us but most of all I think it teaches us patience.

It might take a while for us to learn that lesson, I know it certainly did with me!  I used to get so frustrated when I couldn't reach the end of my chores list for the day.  I'd cry, I'd feel like a failure because after all I've always been able to do all these things and still have time to sit down for a cuppa before starting dinner!

Then a thought struck me one day.  I was the one writing that chore list!  A younger, healthier me might well have completed that list in double time but this me can't.  Now I could do two things.  I could scream, yell or hold my breath till the universe saw the error of its ways or I could accept what is and (try) to be as kind with myself as I would with others, allow for the changes and do what I can.

There's the lesson dear ones, patience.  Patience with the world ("but you don't look ill..") patience with family and friends (even loved ones don't always understand) but mostly patience with ourselves.  Patience to accept what is, smile, know you're doing your best and find another way of doing things instead. 

We all want different things from our lives. I'd love to have our home completely organised, de-cluttered and looking like an image in a magazine or maybe be able to walk for miles like I used to, and of course I'd like it to happen overnight but life just doesn't work that way with a chronic illness as a companion.

With Hubby on-board helping, and by taking tiny de-cluttering steps at a time, I'm confident that we'll (one day) get to the organised home of our dreams and while I might never walk miles again (with osteo arthritis in the base of my spine walking at all is painful) I have started yoga and just those simple, gentle, daily stretches in the mornings make me feel energised and most of all happy.

Will following a yoga dvd class in our living room each morning help me to prevent further mobility loss?  I've only been doing it a few weeks so who knows but I do know one thing, I finish my little 10-15 minute chapter of my dvd each morning and I'm always smiling and I'm always ready to face the day 😊

Slow and steady wins the race dear ones.  Do what you can do, not what you (or others!) think you should be able to do.  Be gentle with yourself.

Til next time honeys, smile lots and hug even more x