Disclaimer: This is not medical advice in any way. If you have problems dealing with stress or sometimes feel overwhelmed (like I do) please consult a doctor or medical professional, hugs x
Hi Honeys,
I've been thinking today, while doing a few loads of laundry. We're in October, running towards the holidays far too quickly. Just like 2020, 2021 will be memorable for all the wrong reasons. We're all living in a huge bubble of "odd" it feels like.
Everything feels"off" and not as it should be. Yes, I know, there's a worldwide pandemic, if that doesn't make things odd I don't know what will. Is there a reset button somewhere? Something we can press and make everything go back to how it was? Wouldn't that be wonderful honeys?
A few days ago, nearer the start of Blogtober (how can we be half way through already??) I spoke (briefly) about this past eighteen months or so and what I (usually) do to find my happy (if you missed it honeys, you can see it here.) They all work, for me. All of them. Usually. I was starting to give up but maybe it's just taken a bit longer. These are not "usual" times we're living in.
1. I'm back with my yoga.
I still love it so much but it's not making me feel like it did. To be fair though, it's asking a (really) lot to change the mood I've been in the past year or so.
A little background, in case you don't know. I have RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and a couple of years ago they found osteoarthritis in my lower spine. For the RA I take a medication which dampens my immune system, since, with RA, it is my immune system that damages the joints.
At the beginning of the covid outbreak, nobody knew anything really, not even doctors. I was, understandably, worried about not having a working immune system with a whole pandemic going on, so I phoned the hospital clinic I attend. I did speak to a doctor who said he couldn't tell me what to do, to stop taking my meds or not to. They really didn't know enough. I wasn't going outside anyway, those of us with certain conditions had been advised to isolate. I have so many chronic health conditions that I might as well grab a red shirt and hop into a classic Star Trek episode and be done with it 😊
Long story short, I stopped my meds in March and by September, honestly honeys, I was in so much pain, I literally was struggling to walk across a room. I called my own Doctor (our GP) and asked to re-start my meds. Now taking them again but it seems by stopping them I might have allowed my arthritis to "progress." I'm now pinning my hopes on yoga to help me get moving again.
Maybe as it helps me (as I know it will) to regain some of my mobility, maybe the pain will ease off and that'll make me feel better. I'm hopeful.
2. TV Nights
Hubby, our furbaby Jade and I have been binge watching DVD box sets, most evenings. Most recently, all three seasons of Wellington Paranormal. Officers Minogue and O'Leary are the Mulder and Scully of New Zealand Police 😊 and I'm loving Sgt Maaka. Nobody better take Sgt Maaka's doughnuts, made for him by his Nanna lol (watch and you'll see) and poor Officer Parker. He can't do right for doing wrong. bless him.😊 If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it honeys x
We've also been discovering new accounts and watching whole playlists on Youtube. I've found a new love for Youtube. It's amazing how many documentaries, old movies, music videos (Hubby and I have been loving the 80s stuff.) There's just so much to watch on there.
If anything can make me smile, it's spending time with Hubby and our furbaby.💖 I'm loving our extra time together, so maybe not everything about these past few odd months has been awful.
3. Organising Stuff
Yes, we've been doing that honeys. Still so, so much to do in our wee home but we've actually achieved quite a bit towards our goal of down sizing. So many trips to our local charity shop to drop off donations and even though we have lots more to do, there is a definite change in our home and that feels good.👍 We'll get there (eventually) one wee drawer or project at a time, and yes, it does make me feel a little better.
4. Finding Smiles In The Kitchen
Because of the pain in my spine (and everywhere else) impacting on my mobility, Hubby has been helping out more in the kitchen, so we've been in there together making dinner, chatting endlessly and it turns out that he's actually really good at cooking! (Don't tell him I said that honeys, I'll never hear the end of it lol) So again, yes, it has helped I think. I've always loved cooking but I love it even more when I'm with Hubby doing it.💖
5. Me Time
Well, now that I've lost my job I have nothing but me time it feels like 😞 There's no beating around the bush honeys, it takes more than a little meditation (with the help of my lovely beach canvas - see here for details honeys) and a few face masks to battle the type of dreadful, fallen-into-a-very-dark-place funk that I fell into.
What I Do When I'm Feeling Blue
When I feel overwhelmed, when I'm not coping at all well with life,with whatever is happening at the time, I always seem to do the same things.
I pull away from the world. I just hide. I'd be terrible company anyway, I tell myself, people are better not seeing/being around me. Take Twitter, or any social media for that matter (but I was on Twitter more than anywhere else) well I haven't been there for about a year! Nor anywhere else. I've only been outside five times in the past 19-20 months for Doctors appointments. As I said honeys, I just shrink and disappear from the world.
It's gone on for so long though because, even though I knew, with the constant pain and loss of my mobility, I was going to lose my job. It actually came as an almighty shock when it happened. I can't even describe it, and certainly didn't understand it.
As always though, Hubby (who is very smart) did understand. He told me I had to let myself feel what I felt, that losing my job (to me anyway, because it was literally - other than those Doctors appointments - the only time I went out of the house) was like a bereavement and I had to treat it that way. Allow myself time to "mourn."
When he described it like that, I actually started to understand how I was feeling that little bit better. I have to get back to my social media accounts, apologies too dear ones, I haven't been keeping up with comments on this blog either. It's all felt too overwhelming. Too much.😞
Everything Passes, things will get better
"This too shall pass" as somebody famous once said that I can't remember right now (it's after midnight and I'm a wee bit tired)
It does pass though honeys. It always passes. I'm already feeling a bit more like myself and starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Depression is a horrible, nasty insidious thing. It preys on our insecurities, it lies to us that nothing will ever get better, but it so can, and does. We just have to get there dear ones. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a loved one. Reach out, to a friend, a loved one, to your doctor. Tell somebody, please.
It's too easy to get "stuck" in unhappiness, to start thinking it's fine, it's normal, but it's not and you're worth so much more.
What do you do, when you're blue honeys? How do you turn a frown upside down? Till next time, sending love and mountains of hugs always xx
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